Tuesday, September 17, 2013

lately

As of late my life has been really lame.  I wake up each and every day and do the same thing and its repetitive and i hate it.  I waste what free time i have throughout the day watching netflix and playing video games, when i should be studying.  I am a college student at SDSU and i enjoyed being here last year and was excited to come back that is until i got here.  I have absolutely no motivation in my mind to study and i just dont see the world in the same way as i used to.  I have been thinking lately how i would just like to drop out of school cause i see no point in finishing, i know that if i graduate with a college education and stuff i will be successful but i dont see a point in any of that.  I find absolutely no joy in anything and feel depressed.  I feel i have nothing to look forward to and no one to talk to.  My friends will just laugh at me or just think that i am making things up and i dont want to talk to my parents about any of this.  I have been feeling like this for weeks now and really just need to say what i feel on something, or at least type out what i feel.  Today i had a physics exam in which i did absolutely terrible on, and i feel that was kind of my wake up call, i know that i should study and care more about what is going on in my life but i just cant seem to get myself to do anything about it.  I feel i am slowly drowning, and have no way of resurfacing...